Thursday, April 2, 2009

Sadly Accurate

Although this has gone around before, I think it is too funny and didn't want to lose it before I shared it with a few people. Enjoy. . .

Nine Words Women Use:

1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Anything you say after Fine is the beginning of a new argument.

2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine

4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (Note – this is true, unless she says “thanks a lot”, then it is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. Do NOT say “you’re welcome”, that will bring on a “whatever”.

8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9) Don't worry about it (and/or) I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

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